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Wednesday, 20 February 2013

The Value Of Friendship


I've had lots of friends in my life so far and I'm only 30. You may wonder why I'm writing about this in a blog post. The truth is that friends are very valuable. They come and go throughout a person's life. The first friends I remember having were my friends at Fir Tree Junior School, Wallingford, Oxon. UK. I always found it hard  to make friends as I was really shy as a child and was convinced no one would want to be friends with me either due to my disabilities or the fact I wouldn't be "interesting" enough to them as a person, or we'd not have things in common outside the fact we went to the same school. I definitely went through many stages of rejection and  being misunderstood by people. I came to think of my Personal Assistants at school as my friends. I remember also I was happy upon knowing some of them would be going to Didcot Girls' Secondary School with me when I was 11, so I felt better about this move. I was really happy to move schools anyway as I had always had a hunger for learning new things and wanted to be challenged in my education. My friends at Fir Tree helped by accepting me as I am and therefore people at the school started noticing me more. I was happy with just a small group of friends and have always been happier knowing a few people well rather than many people less well. As my life progressed, I met people outside school. I met a few friends (Thato Van der Zwaal and James Robertson) at Riding for the Disabled at Kingston Bagpuize, Oxon. When I was about 16, I went on a holiday to La Clusaz, in the French Alps courtesy of the same RDA group. At the airport I met Jodie Pedder, who I've seen a few times since.  During  my time at Swansea University, I met Siobhan Rabbit, who was originally from Manchester.  At Reading I came across friends who came from all over the world: Taiwan, China, Japan, Italy,  and Germany. Many of them left the University, and the UK at the end of our first year at University, and I lost contact with them. Thato and Jodie remain great friends, with whom I can share everything, laugh, cry and have a great time. 
I remembers I was in the dining room in my hall at University sitting next to a girl I got chatting to. She told me she was looking for a housemate and I came out with " why don't you and me share together. My friends and I are looking for another flat mate. Her name was Lan Anh Do and she was
 from Vietnam. We became very good friends, both being fashion and beauty mad and complete
shopaholics. I've got her to thank for introducing me to Mango!
A few days ago, I finished reading "El Mundo Amarillo" (The Yellow World), a book written by Albert   Espinosa
I saw "Pulseras Rojas" last Summer on TV- a series about kids at a hospital in Barcelona. They were between about 8 and 14 years old, and were in the hospital for varying reasons. The 8 year old was in a coma after kids dared him to jump off the highest diving board into the pool in exchange for him forming part of their group. There were 2 kids with cancer, a girl with anorexia, and a boy with heart problems.  The series told of the friendships one forms when in a common situation eg in hospital.  In order to better get through their experiences in hospital, they formed a friendship group called "Pulseras Rojas ( red bracelets) "pulseras" for short. Lleo, the Founder of the group, had kept all his ID bracelets from previous hospital stays and gave one to each group member.
The book had me hooked from the first page. It was based on Albert's own experiences of having been diagnosed with cancer, his take on cancer and how he dealt with it, and what he learnt from the
people he met whilst in Hospital. The book is cleverly written, with each chapter focusing on a
"discovery" he made resulting from his experiences. He claims a person will have 23 people that
meet who can be classed as "Yellows" (the equivalent of a best friend)  in their life, and will meet them in different
situations. He says these are people who one isn't afraid to be themselves with, and the difference between a friend and someone who fits into the select group of "The Yellows" is that the people in this group are people you don't have to have much contact with or need to have seen for awhile, for there always to be that bond between you that means you always get on.
The book teaches the reader alot about friendship, your attitude to life when you have an illness or disability that requires you to be in hospital at various points in your life. Also the importance of
friends   In helping you cope with your hospital stay, and the importance of friendship outside the
hospital.
From my own experience, the nurses, some drs and the friends I made during hospital stays were
incredibly valuable to me. The book also says we shouldn't be scared of death or losing someone. I
lost a good friend who I was in Hospital with years ago, and friends have come and gone in my life,
but I really value the ones I have and hope to keep them for years to come. I also know I'll meet more in unexpected places and at various stages of my life.
Finally, I enjoyed the book as I could identify with it due to meeting people I classed as friends in hospital, and I could identify with what one feels when in hospital. In short, a very enjoyable book. There's also an English language version available. I'd highly recommend it to anyone regardless of if they have experience of disability, illness or hospital stays or not. 

Saturday, 26 January 2013

A very special few days




Yesterday ,  I got a surprise bunch of flowers from my parents, and today my sister Nicky is getting married to her fiancee David Haynes who she has known since 2008. I feel very upset that I cannot actually be there but I am thinking of her and wish her all the best in her married life. I was unable to be there because of the fact that I was unable to get care or find a suitable hotel in time also because my family were unable to make an exception and care for me during the couple of days that I would've been there. I feel really proud of her and know that she has chosen the right person. My auntie Jane Wylie flew over from the States a couple of days ago to be with the family in Bristol ( which is where the wedding is being held) is also there with my parents and some friends of the family are also invited. I feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside because I'm so happy for her and I know that they will be extremely happy together.I'm hoping to see the photos very soon and I'm also thinking about making a YouTube video about this special day. I will have a celebratory glass of cosmopolitan cocktail later on. I'm not a big drinker and have to be careful to take the medication I take for my disability , but I will make an exception this time! .

Monday, 14 January 2013

Hello 2013!


So another year is upon us and I find myself thinking of new years resolutions.
There are some of the usual ones like lose weight,  stop worrying so much , and be a good person, but I would also add to this list some goals such as make my Facebook Pages, blog and book the best they can be and work on my book a lot more. In any case I'm really excited about the year that lies ahead, and I'm planning to enjoy every minute of it! :-)
We are exactly 2 weeks into the new year now, which seems to have gone surprisingly fast. In that time, I've worked on my Facebook pages, and have FINALLY got my first two videos posted on my youtube channel (cpchick81). I've also added more to my "book idea brainstorm"as I call it. Health-wise, much the same as usual, in addition to which I've got my first cold of the winter despite wrapping up warm, drinking lots of hot herbal teas and hot chocolates, and eating lots of oranges and vitamin C tablets.
The sales are in full swing, and I'm hoping to go soon. I'm also trying to take a more relaxed approach to life and stress less. There are also important birthdays for some people in my family (you know who you are! ) , and my sister Nicky's wedding.  The rest of the year is unplanned, but that makes it all the more exciting! Everyone  who reads this had a good start to the year, and I hope it's a happy, healthy and prosperous one for you all. Happy 2013!

Sunday, 23 December 2012

Birthday Blog entry



Yesterday was my 31st birthday. I can't believe where the years have gone but I'm really proud of what I've done in life up till now. It's about 14°C,  so it is  actually not too cold and a nice temperature for this time of year I had a lot of nice phone calls and text from friends and family, plus cards and some gifts. I'm really pleased that I've got 3E loves wheelchair heart stuff. I'm now the proud owner of a Hoodie,  some badges,  some wheelchair heart decals , and a wheelchair heart temporary tattoo! We ate Chinese food and then had my birthday cake which was an ice cream cake with vanilla ice cream, caramel ice cream, a biscuit base and a chocolate topping – it was delicious!

We also went out to see the Christmas lights on streets near where we live. I'll put some more photos on Facebook soon.

A couple of days ago, we went to see Madrid horse week which

was an exhibition with showjumping and events such as gymnastics on the horses and processions by members of the police and other organisations. I loved it!

Today I'm just relaxing doing some reading and thinking about working a little bit more on my book. I'm really excited about writing it. I'm also really glad that I have Dragon dictation software as this is a real help as it always has been to me in the past when I was studying at school and university, as throughout my life my fingers and hands spasm and cramp to the point I cannot hold a pen or press a key (even on a virtual keyboard) and am unable to move

any part of my hand as the spasms are painful  when I write or type for any length of time, no matter how short. An OT told me this is due to the over-activity of the muscles in my arms and hands and spasticity as its hard for me to achieve adequate posture to hold a pen or press a key.
For me, my birthday always has a slightly melancholy  undertone, as I remember Natalie, my identical
twin, born just minutes before me, and wish she were here. Happy birthday for yesterday, I love and
miss you. That said, I'm glad I have my sister Nicky to make up for Natalie not being here.
I'm really looking forward to all my birthdays still to come, and I plan to enjoy every one of them equally as much!
I've decided  that I want the book published in various formats including paperback e-book a large print format book and audio book in order to make it as accessible as possible to as many people as possible.  I also want to start making a couple of videos for  my Facebook pages.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Christmas and my birthday are almost here!

So far in our Christmas preparations, we've put up our tree, put up the Christmas cards so we can see them better, bought lots of oranges and satsumas, and bought the turrĂ³n - which for those of you who don't know is like nougat and typical at Christmas in Spain. We've bought milk chocolate, white chocolate and coconut varieties. We've not yet decided if we will eat chicken, turkey or something else. I've posted off some Christmas cards and am working on getting others sent by email or as ecards. We have also bought some Pannetones to eat. We've got snow spray for  windows and doors which we've yet to use. As usual I'm still thinking about what to do for my birthday. The weather's getting colder and I hope it holds up for then! 
Merry christmas and a very happy 2013 to everyone! 


Monday, 3 December 2012

International Day of Disabled People 2012

Today is the International Day of Disabled People, which I found put about a few weeks ago whilst looking on YouTube for interesting videos for all my pages.. This, like November 17 (World Prematurity Day - about which I have another blog post) was a day I was especially looking forward to, as it spreads awareness of disabled people worldwide. I found out today whilst watching some current affairs programs on TV that today is actually part of Disability Week, which started on 27 November. Yesterday, there was a huge march in Madrid and today the same thing happened in Barcelona and Valencia, an opportunity for disabled people to assert their rights to care services, and anything else needed. 
I would have loved to have been there, but I saw good coverage on TV. I'm really glad today exists, although I don't think there's nearly enough done to promote it before the day, as it was lucky I looked on YouTube, or I wouldn't have known about it. I certainly wasn't aware it even existed this time last year!. Despite today being the day it is, I think society still has a long way to go in its 
acceptance of and 
provision for, disabled people. Even the level of understanding of disability in general is far from acceptable. I'm constantly having to explain about my cerebral palsy, hydrocephalus and the severity of my vision. I don't mind though, I'm quite happy to explain and always have been. 
I have to say, today has made me feel prouder than ever to be disabled: after all, I don't know any different, and my disability is, always was, and always will be part of me. Please feel free to see 
my blog post about World Prematurity Day
 http://katherinehaywardmylifewithcp.blogspot.com.es/2012/
11/yesterday-was-world-i-didnt-realise.html






Friday, 23 November 2012

No need to pity me!



Yesterday, I saw the above photo on a website and I immediately liked it. As  I have already said on my Facebook page, I do not like anybody pitying me because of my disability.I think this photo is a very simple but effective way of getting an important message across: that disabled people should not be pitied,  but that we  should be valued and appreciated for what we can do,our  talents and dreams  rather than belittled and made fun because of how we look,what we can't do and how we move or do something. I have heard people say to me " what a pity you have the disabilities you have " "what a pity you can't do this or you can't do that " "what a pity you can't join in or do what you want when you want" . This leads me on to saying that many of us with a disability due to our needs and how our  disability affects us ( which varies from person to person)  will find it difficult to be spontaneous and do what we want no matter how much we would love to be able to do so. All of us, no matter what our disability, have a lot to offer. I have posted various posts  on Facebook about what I have achieved in life and what am proud and thankful for. I think it is about time that people stop pitying disabled people and thinking that having a disability is a terrible thing when really  it is part of what makes us unique